graduation

Lestat’s path to redemption has not been without its ups-and-downs. He made quite a splash in his first month on board, going on a rampage resulting in death and blood shed, and enjoying every moment of it. He showed the hallmarks of the very worst of himself - disregard for the lives of others, lack of remorse for his actions, and manipulative in the way he spun stories of it afterward. To say he made enemies would be an understatement, and this conflict carried on consistently for at least half of the year.

However, something unexpected happened along the way. Somehow, Lestat found people that were able to see through the facade he built up. Despite his efforts to keep them at arm’s length, he found himself fond of them, and through caring for these very select few he started to feel memories of who he used to be. Following his small aggression towards Malcolm Bright that resulted in a round table meeting, Lestat was truly apologetic for the first time in a long time. Never in his life had anyone, let alone several people, stood up for him in any regard, and he had fully convinced himself he wasn’t worth the effort. Time and time again, his friends showed him that wasn’t true, starting to break down his walls. He found a lot of guilt in being the cause of so much strife for those he cared about, deciding he didn’t want to put them through it again.
That incident was enough for him to not only decide to play nice, but, ultimately, to pursue graduation.

As per Lestat’s arrival, there were a few things that stood out that would need to be worked on in order to consider him ready for graduation. A lot of that was founded in finding his connection to people again. This has happened in a few ways. The first, while being mandated, was his individual meetings with people he’d wronged. With the exception of Malcolm, these meetings went quite well, and Lestat found himself making genuine conversation as well as finding shared interests to connect over. He’s had positive interactions with people he previously deemed as unimportant. As far as Malcolm, Lestat personally reached out on his own accord, and offered - with sincerity - that they try again and start from the beginning. He was much less guarded and willingly admitted he played a bad part in how things went with them. There are his music lessons, too, which gave him the opportunity to reach more people. He’s found genuine joy in sharing this part of him with others. With Raylan, who was an early victim of Lestat’s, he was quick and willing to offer to learn how to play fiddle so he could teach Raylan at the man’s request. If the same opportunity had presented itself a few months earlier, there is no way Lestat would have entertained the idea.

He’s proven himself to be reliable and responsible. Not only is he a constant presence in the art gazebo as he tends his duties, upon being gifted a pet, he never once sneered at the idea of taking care of her. In fact, he took on the task with a renewed sort of vigor, and found that through this he was willing to come out of his hardened shell when introducing her to others. Two months ago, Lestat was also granted his powers in full (save mind control). This means he has been existing on the barge with his preternatural speed, strength, and every other skill that made him the scary predator that he was. However, no one would even know. While most would expect him to take advantage of the opportunity and cause a little chaos, he’s felt no desire to abuse the gift or to flaunt them at all. If anything, Lestat seems to be more content now to simply exist than to posture and pester.

As for the question of Lestat showing vulnerability, it started in a more personal setting. He was fortunate to find Reid as his warden, who encouraged reflection and self-worth from the start. Lestat found himself willing to open up about the things in his life he preferred to keep hidden, learning how to discuss such things without feeling like it made others think of him as weak. He also spoke more freely about the man he was before he became a vampire, unlocking the memories and feelings from a much more human time in his life. No doubt this helped him moving forward, reminding him how relationships are meant to be fostered. He had a moment (in a private conversation) where he spoke to Sheehan about his very young days. The conversation showed Lestat that he’d been kinder even back then than he thought, allowing him to view past events in a fresh light. Most recently, Lestat felt comfortable enough to be public about his misgivings and what he’s learned from his experiences on the barge. This is as vulnerable as he’s been for more than half a century. There were no flowery words, no half truths, just an honest representation of who he was and who he remembered he could be.

Lestat is never going to be a man to fully turn a new leaf. He’ll always like the feeling of having control over a situation, but he finds he no longer craves to have that control over people. He is still a vampire and people will fall prey to that, but he’s made a commitment to Reid that he’ll no longer do it in such extravagant ways and his victims will be the worst people rather than those simply trying to get by. Ultimately, the thing that drove Lestat to be a monster was his loneliness and desire to be loved by people who didn’t love him back. He’s found that now, and even when he tried to ruin it, it was steadfast. He’s gone from a man who had lost everything to a man who has so much to look forward to, someone who will be able to enjoy all the things he lost when he became a vampire, and that is truly the best outcome anyone could expect to get from him. While he chose to pursue graduation out of spite, he’s somehow fallen into pursuing it with sincerity and even a bit of enjoyment. That said, he will not be staying on to be a warden. He needs time to settle into this new self and relearn who he is. The Barge is too small for him to want an extended visit, and even with a fresh new outlook, there’s no doubt his first inmate would exasperate him to the point of risking demotion.